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Lily Flower

Enduring the Process

There have been times this year that I wanted to just give up this journey. Times where I felt that this unfamiliar territory was so far out of my control, that it wasn’t worth it. But, then it clicked, I’m not suppose to have control. Matter of fact, none of us have control. In James 4:14, the passage is speaking of our lives being as a vapor. A vapor… a vapor is present one moment and gone the next. God is alluding to the fact that we must understand that our life is fading, quickly. There is no time to waste, each day must be intentional, and we should be asking what is His will for our lives. That same chapter in James goes on to say, we must acknowledge God in our plans, that if it is His will, then what we have planned, because it is aligned with His will shall be blessed.

Don’t get me wrong, we can go about our lives and not acknowledge God’s will for us.  I’ve been there before, and because He gives us grace, we are able to function; but we won’t go as far as we can by being in His will. It’s a matter of our surrender. That is all He ask for.

I grew up in the church. And when I say IN the church, I’m talking Sunday morning, afternoon, and night. Bible study, choir practices, flag rehearsal, shut- INs, you name It! Some of you may not be familiar with what a shut-in is…. You pray from 6pm-6am WITHOUT sleeping. Now, what child is interested in that? NONE! Or at least not ME. However, I had to be there. As I look back on my childhood in the church, I can say it gave my foundation, but it did not save me. That may seem like backwards. Let me explain. Church is merely a building, the people in it are simply trying to figure out life and God, not a single soul in that building can save you. God is the ONLY savior. As I fast forward 20 years, I’ve found myself needing Him to be my savior.

I couldn’t wait until I could make my own decisions about when I would go to church and what I could do. When that time came, TUH. I was out here, living, as I thought. And because God is so gracious and patience, He allowed me to ‘live’, but He knew I’d come home. 

I did. I came home. Home to a Father that wrapped His arms around me. Forgave me, saved me, and is continuing to cleanse me. I never knew who I truly was until I saw myself the way He sees me and knows me. Now, I’m on a journey with Him to be all that he’s called me to be.

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